"Where the hell is Girl Talk?" That was the question on everyone's lips as the clock dragged on towards 1:00. We'd been there for two hours already and so far no one had seen so much as a hint of the mysterious figure billed for the night. But lo, just as we were about to give up hope (or perhaps just shortly thereafter) a scrawny little dude dressed in a crisp black suit and tie popped up. The party was about to start. Dude had to set up his equipment before he got going, of course, which consisted of exactly one Dell laptop plugged into the P.A. via one faulty eighth inch audio cable. It was a stark contrast to the setup of the DJ still trying to keep the crowd awake for the main event, a setup which consisted of two Mac laptops, two turntables, a mixer, about a million LCD screens and the better portion of the International Space Station. I'm fairly certain that it was enough equipment that Kim Jong-Il could easily rework it into a functioning nuclear missile guidance system. Soon the opening beat of "Once Again" bounced through the speakers, suggesting that Girl Talk might be preparing a rather literal performance of straight album material. When Beyonce's vocals dropped over top of it, replacing Luda's verse from the album track, we knew we were in for some new and crazy shit. Indeed, the theme played out through the whole set. Recognizable elements of Night Ripper were always present, but in order to keep things exciting were completely reworked and refreshed. Songs as current as Beck's "Cell Phone's Dead" and Nelly Furtado's "Maneater" made appearances, letting us know the man's rightfully concerned with keeping things relevant. As can be expected, the crowd was completely flipping out. More surprisingly, however: so was Girl Talk. From head banging and spastic leaps into the air to crowd surfing and dancing on the floor while leaving the laptop on auto pilot, this guy was certified bananas. It should also be known that the entire performance turned out to actually be a prolonged strip-tease, with Girl Talk casually losing a jacket here, a tie there, until nothing covered his shame but a pair of pants and a tuft of hair on his bony chest. He chose to close the set, as seems to be the tradition for his current tour, with a cover of Nirvana's "Scentless Apprentice". This consisted of pressing play on his computer and then proceeding to scream frantically into the mic while being swallowed up by the frenzied audience. He would pop up now and then, eventually riding a wave of fingers back to the stage where he wrapped up the song. Somewhere around this point he grabbed a bottle of champagne and poured a good deal of it either down his throat or on himself, after which it was handed off and sprayed onto the writhing mass of bodies below. After finally taking to the stage, Girl Talk successfully transformed the event into what was easily the craziest thing taking place in Orlando that night. Not only that, but it was definitive proof that watching some guy play with his laptop can actually be a hell of a lot more fun than watching an actual band. Well done. Story by Jack Cusumano